Shab E Barat

I consider myself a fairly spiritual person. I love to pray (almost always), I completely believe and love the mystery , of an all powerful God. And it’s one of the few subjects I can speak about incessantly because I form opinions about it and read about it and think about it a lot. A LOT!

So spiritually my ideal day would include, Prayers: All at their specific time. Including early dawn and sunset. Also includes listening to a good preacher on TV (Read Joyce Meyer). And giving Reiki to anything that happens around me -To not miss my cab, to the pending changes which need approval, to the UNIX team who seems to always forget what I have asked them to do.

But things haven’t been turning well the past week. It’s 2:30 a.m now and I have been waiting all night for a server reboot to be done. So that I can login and make some few changes, OUT OF OFFICE hours. Now that is such a term, out of office, when everyone sleeps, when no one has to access any application, I work to keep it running. I guess it’s fair enough, probably someone works on my Citibank web page too. Making sure, I can transfer all my money to my credit card as and when required.

So I was saying: ya spirituality. Yesterday was Shab E Barat. For, Muslims (or rather a good amount of Muslims) believe that on the night of Shab-E-Barat God writes the destinies of all men for the coming year by taking into account the deeds committed by them in the past. WHOA! That’s big stuff! Almost all muslims spend the day in fast and deep prayer, usually the whole night substituting sleep for prayer.

My mom reminded me to read the Quran and to pray much more fervently than on other days.


And what did I do? I returned from office early as I was feeling ill. I came home and after a few gazillion phone calls from office ,realized I had LOT of work to do. And started working from home. And yes, I was awake the whole night, like I was supposed to .But I missed every prayer, cause I felt a tad bit lazy. I didn’t even look at the Quran. And I was consistently telling myself maybe this was not a required practice, maybe this is one of the false beliefs propagated ?
Or in better words, maybe it’s OK not to pray today.

I even asked my Mujahid* friend if his family believes in this stuff. And I felt relieved to know they didn’t.

After all the self-convincing that it was OK to miss out on all the prayers. And now ,when my office work is done,(24 hours and more later) I browsed about Shab E Barat . It seems to be a prevalent belief with a lot of Muslims. The night and its glory is written about in a million tempting ways and I feel so lost. I wasted it in being lazy and just making my storage box have a higher performance, I didn’t even pray like I do on an average day, on an average normal day, when my destiny is not at stake.

I have no clue what I have lost out on.


By the way, there is something else that I lost. And that’s my Beautiful, chic, Nokia 7610 Supernova. It was not just a phone, it was who I was. .



*Mujahid : A sect of Muslims, who are keen to rediscover the real and actual teachings of Islam stripping it of regionalism and false practices.

Just like that

This blog is just to vent every thought I wish to communicate when I have no one to share it with. This is to keep me from being a boring girl who talks too much. This one is because my roommate is in UK. And also because any thought stays longer on paper than on my listener’s mind.

It's Saturday night, and I am sitting in my not-yet-clean room feeling guilty for having bunked my Art of Living class. I blame it on having to be available 24X7 to my customer as I am “On Call” .I also blame it on the ineffective teacher who made my sleep deprivation and bath in the morning cold feel wasted on all the five days of the class. But still I feel incomplete. Bunking is not me. At least guilt free bunking is not me.

I am currently reading Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Purple Hibiscus. I have to say she is my current favorite author . Her Half of a Yellow Sun still lingers,in all its humane war torn glory, in my mind even after two years. It amazes me how a book completely based out of Nigeria can feel so universal, touching and so very relevant.

One wedding and some gossip

My brother got married last Sunday. Being the only sibling in a marriage function, where we didn’t have much professional help is nothing near to easy.

For some reason, everyone from my grandmother to the catering guy seems to be looking for me all the time. This means I had to climb the stairs in my home an average of 100 times every 5 hours. From unclogging the washbasin to carrying out truck loads of waste I did it all. This is regarding the before/after wedding functions which usually take place in the groom’s home. The wedding ceremony was in a marriage hall. Thank God for that.








It’s been around six years since I met quite some of my immediate family members. And this time gap has made quite some difference. Difference being that now I am a fully functional adult .I got to hear varied versions of the same incident.,from a mother and son, for whom I am the non partial recently-turned adult listener. Its obvious to me that a simple communication would resolve the entire issue. But I don’t try and do anything about it. I am too young in the lineage to meddle in affairs, yet old enough to listen while they vent their hearts out.
I also listen to a husband and wife narrate a situation. They both have concluded how they forgave each other for faults they have never discussed about. Both had no clue what the others taking on the issue was. They have simply never spoken about it.

These were people whom I considered super human for quite some part of my life. For this once, I saw them all as mortals. Normal, flawed humans who have been wonderful grand parents, uncles, aunts and cousins to me.




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A lifetime dawns on you, when you see, boys almost a decade younger than you, are now grown men.



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And now I would like to express gratitude to everyone who made my (and my parents) life much easier this past week

1) Chinnamachi : For never thinking twice before plunging into anything and take responsibility and sharing almost every task at hand
2) Gudi: For patiently applying beautiful mehndi to each and everyone whoasked for it . For never saying no to massage my overworked ankles. And for being so tall, to do everything that requires being tall.
3) Mamy : For being a true member of the family. And to be precise,for helping me clean my two storey house the day after the wedding .
4) Ansikka : For arranging 200 liters of water in less than an hour.
5) And then of course the Bride: For being the most sweet and almost perfect bride I have ever met (Touch Wood!) that my swollen over worked ankles made perfect sense.

Random

I sometimes wonder, what a huge waste Talent is, when there is no compassion or humility accompanying it.

Desire

I went and got myself a vacuum cleaner today. Much against the strong opposition from my friend, who said she won’t lend me any money this month, if I go on this shopping spree and then go bankrupt.

Vacuum cleaner is not really a vain extravagant purchase, if you think about it from a housewife’s perspective. But why now? I have been staying in the same single room PG with the same roommate for the past three years. The amount of dirt in the room should be the same, or should have reduced drastically as two clean girls reside in the room now, as against before. Did I turn ultra clean with time? That should be a no.

I remember when I first moved to Bangalore, I used to come in after a day of work and sleep in the exact same clothes(I have no clue how I did that). But now I have a separate wardrobe for home wear. I shop for home wear, sometimes much more than I do for my regular clothing. And when I accompany anyone who plans to get a pair of socks for themselves to the neighborhood store. I come out buying quite a lot of unprecedented stuff. Did I turn into a shopaholic? That should be a no. I hope

And there is always ALWAYS something in my mind that I have to get. A new pair of shoes, soap, shampoo, mouthwash. All essentials, all of which I use in good amount everyday. I use everything I shop, I don’t waste or find anything not used at the corner of the shelf. I can’t do without a mouthwash anymore. I have to use a moisturizer before I step out of the house.

What has happened to me? What has changed? Why do I need so much stuff on a day to day basis that I find quite a lot of things missing when I visit home. At home ,I have to run out to get my shampoo and conditioner(yes I have started using a conditioner) , as there is limited shampoo in my home and of course no sign of a mouthwash anywhere. Have I become a ravaging consumer? Why are my needs increasing per day?

And I have a fetish for costly stuff too. I dono where I get this from. My brother has a particular knack of getting gorgeous stuff for unbelievably cheap prices. And my mom still has a pair of earrings she used to wear before my brother was born. It belongs to me now, (those earrings would be cursing their luck.) But I don’t even like getting into a shop that sells second hand stuff or into some mall which has mega sale written all over it. When my neighbor tries to tell me how she could get everything in my wardrobe for cheaper(she is bluffing, I don’t buy that) it rarely ever bothers me .

I got my room a chocolate candle and a potpourri. My bed has some new bed sheets. My teapoy has a clean cute table cloth.

I don’t consider myself irresponsible. It’s not like I spend more than I earn and then repent it. Nope. I am ok with money. Though we should save for a rainy day . There is no point in starving yourself today to have a better tomorrow. So I think I am balanced in that way. Not always, though . (I dono how many friends of mine are going to object to this one)

Then what has changed. Why the vacuum cleaner, why the conditioner, why the potpourri?

My needs have increased. Needs,wants,desires. I look beautiful. I want to look gorgeous. I have a clean room; I want it to be sparkling all the time. I have a decent bathroom,I want it to smell like spring every time I enter it. My expectations have sored up.

We all have an inherent desire to improve. Our life,our surroundings,our clothes, our friends. And this desire when it translates into needs somewhere inspires us to do a lot more in life. It is said that man kind is never satisfied or content. And everyone sees it akin to sin. Lack of contentment. But if everyone is content with what they have and who they are, wont we just be a bunch of lazy people?

Part of our ever increasing desire is just to have a positive change in our life. Shopping is just that, diversity bought into our lives introducing new objects which we might find extremely useful. Which makes our homes or us better. This is why there is retail therapy and this is why shopping helps. As long as we have a grip on the money we spend and don’t have huge credit card bills piled up, I think ever increasing needs should be welcomed as a positive heads up to us evolving as humans

And Without desire, what’s the point in living anyway.


BTW Check out a new blog I loved: I am no jeeves

Loneliness, Epilepsy and other stories

Being alone doesn't mean you are lonely. Now that should be made a proverb, like time and tide waits for no man. And since proverbs should be repeated to become cliché, I repeat-----
Being alone doesn't mean you are lonely

It is sometimes almost delightful to enjoy one’s own company. It’s a pretty big insight for someone like me, who used to skip meals and write absolutely depressing blogs when my roomie went abroad. Read this to know where I come from.

The beauty in enjoying one’s own space is enjoying the independence. Now that’s something I have always loved, though I never really realized it. Just doing your stuff, your way, no adjustments, no distractions. (Lying lazy amidst your own pile of mess doesn’t count).This is one of those rare rare weekends where I have been in my room for the whole day with no movie/restaurant plans. (Had some last minute cancellations, which I didn’t deal with pretty well. Let’s talk about that later!).

It was a simple normal almost boring day but yet I feel like writing about it.

Saturday means no work. Coming from a 24X7 working culture this is heaven for me. Getting my weekends off. I still see people yearn for it, and I am completely grateful that I have it.

I get my 8 hours of sleep. Again WOW! I remember those night shifts and the zombie it made me. So another blessing I just can’t take for granted.

And my alone day began . .
I decided to go for the advanced Yoga class which is conducted on Saturdays. I go for the regular course on weekdays and anyone who has completed 3 months can go for the advanced classes . But when my master asked me to concentrate on my Shiv Kendra or somewhere in the middle portion of my brain, and all I got was a headache from trying to move my eyes there, I knew I wasn’t ready for it. But I did do the asanas better than any of the “advanced” students. . Hehehhe . Yippie to a haughty me. Anyway this means I woke up at around 5:15 a.m and had a good one hour of exercise. That’s a great start for anyday!

I come back catch up on the adorable lovely God given sleep .

I am currently reading Chicken Soup for the Soul. I love it. Truly inspiring and I cry at the drop of a hat, so obviously a tear jerker. I love these stories of growing against all odds. It’s the same way I inspire myself thinking of ShahRukh Khan. With that nose, hair-do and no acting skill to speak of ,he still became the King Khan super star of the Indian film industry . So nothing can stop us from becoming what we want, not even lack of talent.( Don’t get me wrong, I absolutelllllllly ADORRE ShahRukh Khan.)


I have to explicitly thank two people for today. My hostel canteen guy. I just recently discovered that his food tastes good. And it’s extremely cheap and is healthy. I had all my three meals today (It’s a rarity believe me!) and I thank him for the 25 Rupee meals.

I thank my Yoga master. For his wonderful class which is almost charity, when compared to what Yoga teachers charge else where. For a mere 300 Rs he has classes every working day for 3 months. Please treat this as an advertisement for anyone who stays near JP Nagar 2nd phase/ Ragiguda Temple , Bangalore to check this out! You needn’t be trying to lose weight or on the look out for your higher purpose in life or anything of that sort. It’s just absolute unadulterated fun!

Now I have some information to share about EPILEPSY



This is for everyone who has watched too many Indian movies and like 99% of us believe in such myths (Kazhcha and Sargam being two main contenders in the Malayalam movie dept for spreading these notions ).

And this came into mention cause, I recently saw a guy get an epileptic fit in a park, while he was sleeping. And he fell of the bench and the place was a mess. (I actually thought he poisoned himself and he was dying) I ran to the place. And in seconds I saw all kinds of keys. Santro, scootie, house keys, almirah keys all thrust into his hand. Though I didn’t know what to do I knew key holding was just nonsense. I was thinking of calling emergency BUT
1) People said this is “common” and he needn’t be taken to the hospital .
2) They asked him to cling onto anything iron/steel including the gates of the park.

While I was adamant in taking him to the hospital the whole park disagreed with me (other than my unfortunate friend who had to stick by me, thank you!) and then God’s greatest blessing came to my rescue. Google. I asked a friend to google what to do during an epileptic fit and she just called me up and read it out to me. I love techonology and Internet Is God’s greatest blessing to mankind .

So we got him some coconut water and bread and went back to studying (Oh ya we were trying to study in the park!!! All these distractions made sure that didn’t happen).

And believe it or not after the guy regained his senses he returned to the exact park bench and lied down to sleep as if nothing happened. I didn’t know if I had to feel sorry for him.

Anyway next time you see an epileptic fit, you know what to do. And no, there is no need to call an ambulance.

Now food for thought:
Discipline is doing the right thing even when you don’t feel like doing it.
Isn’t that the whole philosophy of the life in a single simple sentence!

P.S: Earthly affairs. Javed Habib Hair studios are great! And I love Gilmore Girls. :-)

Service

Just fresh from reading Arpz's blog.Let me just type out something before the inspiration dies and I slip into my mundane routine.

I have been diligently waiting for this handy laptop to resume blogging.Blogging with no manager shoulder surfing what I am writing. With no fear, and with the ability to publish anything anyday working or otherwise. My employer has thoughtfully given this amazing equipment so that we can work no matter when.I am willing to take that bargain.

What do I write about? Hmmm.. My new job (Its been eight months but since I haven't written about it, I guess I can still call it new) .Ya my new job. It's better than the last one, or I know better now than I did then.
So what do I like about my new job? The timing is great. My shift starts only at 1:30 pm which means even if I do feel lazy in the morning, I still have time for an attitude shift before I miss my cab.My team is small and have dedicated people.My work seems good. Looks like I am doing what I read in a lot of experience columns in job opening emails.
There are no daily thresholds .No over pressure.No boring "escalation-prevention" meetings.
And then the ultimate luxury, we have a room to pray. Now that comes as the biggest blessing for me with our 5-times-a day praying routine.And not having a place in office means I have to finish it all off together . Now that's reason enough to love my job I guess.

So now for the REAL stuff! Something has been cramming me and my roommate's life for these past days . My maid didn't show up for THREE WEEKS! with no prior notice.Due to which all I can think about now is how important she is to me . (Ya ya, I know kannulapol kannite velayariyoola* Read below for translation)

I have heard and read about abuse of maids and how slaves and servants were ill treated in yesteryears and even now. All I can wonder is HOW! How can u ill treat or abuse someone on whose mercy we live.On whose mood swings and cramps our clean clothes and fresh rooms depend.

Me and my roommate have spent quite sometime last week praying, breaking coconuts,Doing Reiki etc etc for her to come back into our lives with clean clothes.As if this was not enough she seems super busy on her return,I have to chase her every morning,always wondering if it would be better if I got her a mobile, I could avoid running around climbing 5 floors searching for her.And then plead to her in my broken hindi about the plight of our room.

After all this I now know why my mom chose not to have a maid all these years.I think dependence is something we all have been escaping from.Now women don't need to depend on their husbands for money, but how many people are we depended upon to get our daily stuff done.If I start writing about my ironwala and the amount of vacation he takes,I could fill up ten other pages.Anyway he works only for about 10 days a month and then he disappears, this especially when all my clothes have been washed(with my maid's mercy) and now I cant wear them cause they are crumbled.

I know that the human society is inter dependant for its services.I get paid when I allocate storage so that the applications can fill it up with data. And I pay these people for providing me with pressed clean clothes and a fresh room.But if my application runs out of space,I get called upon even in the middle of the night to look into it.I provide my service 5 days a week and even on some weekends . I have to plan ages before I take a long leave.There are millions of dollars at stake if my work doesnt get done on time or gets delayed for even a day.

But is it ok if my bathroom looks dirty for few days.Is it ok if my clothes aren't pressed when I want them to be? Is it ok if these people disappear for weeks on end without a warning or a replacement?

I know I shouldn't compare.After all I get paid much more than they do.

If any maid abuser happens to read this, please let me know how you do it. HOW!

P.S: I have heard that my ironwala owns a bungalow somewhere in his hometown and he resides there as a king :)

*"We dont realise the value of eyes when we have it" is the closest translation of this malayalam proverb. If there are any similar english proverbs please let me know